ThePodOfAlan - Season 1 - Episode 3

November - 2021

Title: My Three Brains

Today's Topics Include:

  • Having a Tweet go viral
  • The tweet itself: I'm "still afraid to use spaces in file names" years old
  • I try to explain the joke to non-technical folks... Not sure I did a great job of that
  • The three different versions of me (and my brain)
  • The mental capacity and energy required for learning
  • A little history of my bipolar experience over the past few years
  • Removing "just" from our teaching
  • Doing something that fails vs being a failure
  • Exits without edits


Auto-Generated Transcript (I'm in the process of getting this formatted)

00:00 [Music] 00:05 i completely forgot what i was going to 00:06 say i had like a thing to start this one 00:09 with 00:10 but i can't remember what it was so 00:12 we're just going to kind of keep oh wait 00:13 i do remember something to the effect of 00:15 a funny thing happened on the way to the 00:16 internet today 00:18 um and the reason i say that is i had a 00:20 tweet go viral um for the first time 00:23 which was kind of cool um 00:26 the 00:27 i've been doing like there's this like 00:29 format tweet thing that's been around 00:30 for a while where it is i am blah blah 00:33 blah or i am dot dot dot dot years old 00:36 and you insert dot dot with whatever 00:38 your particular thing is you're kind of 00:39 making uh funny of 00:42 and so the one i did last night or i 00:44 guess two nights ago now whatever was 00:48 uh 00:49 i am afraid to put something like i'm 00:51 afraid to put spaces and file names 00:53 years old um and that's a computer thing 00:56 where 00:58 it used to be that you couldn't put a 00:59 space in a file name like it because it 01:01 would just break a bunch of stuff well 01:03 it turns out on some of the tech stuff 01:04 that we still use today that can still 01:07 be a problem most of the time if you're 01:08 like making you know word documents or 01:10 whatever it's not a big deal 01:12 but if you're doing some of the behind 01:14 the scenes stuff and some of the more 01:15 technical stuff and sometimes stuff on 01:16 the web or with apps 01:19 that's still a problem um and the reason 01:21 it's a problem is 01:23 when you're issuing commands to a 01:25 computer you will say like hey computer 01:28 i want you to copy this file from here 01:30 to here 01:31 and you put a space in between the first 01:33 here and the second here so the computer 01:35 knows like oh the first one is the is 01:37 where i'm starting and the second one is 01:38 where it's going 01:40 well if you have a space in the file 01:42 name 01:43 it sees that space and it thinks oh 01:46 that first part of the file name is the 01:49 first thing that i'm supposed to look at 01:50 and then there's a space and then 01:52 whatever the second word or the file 01:53 name is is the second thing and it can 01:55 cause all kinds of just 01:57 really 01:58 annoying and sometimes painful bugs but 02:02 that tweet took off 02:04 um so it got it got passed around 02:06 twitter a little bit and then a friend 02:09 who's another streamer 02:10 threw it onto this site called hacker 02:12 news 02:13 which 02:14 is a pretty big site um and gets a fair 02:16 amount of traffic from computer-y folks 02:18 and it made it to the top page of that 02:21 and then just a whole bunch of people 02:22 liked it uh whatever i think it's like 02:24 it's basically at 19 i think it's almost 02:26 20 000 now it's like 19 19.9 k or 02:29 something last time i looked at it which 02:30 is fun like it's so fun 02:32 and it's it's also kind of amusing 02:34 because like i just started doing this 02:36 podcast thing and i've actually put out 02:38 a couple of episodes kind of like in a 02:39 behind-the-scenes way or like in a um 02:44 you know not secret but like secret like 02:45 i've published it but i haven't actually 02:47 like promoted it or really pushed it out 02:48 anywhere i've just like shared it as 02:50 like sneak peek that's the term i'm 02:51 looking for uh some sneak peek stuff 02:53 with a couple people but i haven't 02:55 really like pushed it out and it's like 02:56 well it would have been 02:58 really good timing 02:59 if 03:01 i'd actually like had the podcast all up 03:03 and ready to go and like the first 03:04 episodes are out there and like 03:05 everything was like there and you could 03:06 click on the links and have them go 03:08 before 20 000 people 03:10 you know hit the tweet or whatever and 03:11 actually i guess probably way more 03:13 people or some number more than 20 hit 03:15 it 03:16 or saw it at least because that's just 03:18 the people that liked it 03:20 so 03:21 some number more probably saw it as well 03:23 so but which is super cool 03:25 but it's funny because it also kind of 03:27 brings up 03:28 the topic of 03:30 you know 03:31 those type of stats and like it's funny 03:33 because i was talking with people in the 03:34 office and like oh you're an influence 03:35 now i'm like yeah look at me i'm an 03:36 influencer but like 03:38 a no 03:39 because i had one tweet like take off 03:43 so like 03:44 there's not i'm not gonna be getting 03:46 calls from you know fashion companies 03:48 being like hey you should put our watch 03:50 on and when you're doing your tweets and 03:51 do the thing or whatever um 03:54 so like clearly that's not the case but 03:56 it's it's like it's a fin like nobody's 03:57 being serious about it it's just it's a 03:58 fun little thing to do 04:00 but the other thing it got me thinking 04:01 about though is like stats and numbers 04:04 and analytics and all that stuff and 04:06 where i'm kind of looking for these 04:08 things to go with with this podcast with 04:11 my streaming with whatever 04:12 and like 04:14 i i have this 04:16 interesting 04:18 to me um 04:20 take on this which is i 04:22 i kind of don't care 04:25 but i want it to be popular 04:27 but not like to make money i like i just 04:29 like i it comes down to 04:32 the motivation for me for this 04:35 is i want to make a thing that i like 04:37 and i hope other people like it too 04:39 and this kind of secondary aspect to 04:41 that which is 04:43 i want to make things that 04:45 the people who stuff i like 04:48 they like my thing so if somebody if 04:49 somebody out there makes something that 04:51 i really like 04:52 i would basically like to impress them 04:54 with the thing that i make like that's 04:56 kind of my driving force with a bunch of 04:58 this stuff i'm not i'm not in it for 05:00 stats i'm not in it for money um and i'm 05:01 fortunate enough to be able to say that 05:03 like i don't have to try and like ride 05:05 this to go and and make dollars off of 05:07 it um 05:09 you know i'm not i'm not interested in 05:11 doing that and i was actually talking on 05:12 the stream about this the other night 05:13 where 05:14 like i'm not 05:16 like if i could do 05:18 twitch streaming without having the 05:21 subscription thing where people uh 05:24 subscribe to your channel and give you a 05:25 few bucks 05:27 and get then they get some extra stuff 05:29 for the chat for the like for their 05:30 interactions like if i could just give 05:33 people that interaction stuff without 05:34 doing the money i would 100 do it um 05:37 now part of that is because i have like 05:40 300 followers or something right now 05:42 which is not a tremendous amount if i 05:44 had 50 000 followers maybe i'm gonna 05:46 have a different opinion about this but 05:48 like it's unlikely i'm going to hit that 05:51 particular number or any numbers like 05:53 way up there like that's just i'm not 05:56 i'm not particularly geared towards 05:58 going that way i don't expect like i'm 05:59 not really pushing for it i'm not trying 06:01 to grow followers or whatever i'm just 06:02 doing this stuff because i dig it 06:05 but 06:06 so if i could take that if i could take 06:08 that the money out of it i 100 would and 06:10 it was kind of it was interesting 06:11 because i was talking with somebody chat 06:12 about this and that's not a standard 06:17 response or that's not a standard take 06:19 it feels to me like very few people 06:22 these days are doing stuff 06:24 like this just because they want to do 06:26 it it's like it we have this kind of 06:29 uh cultural pressure of the side hustle 06:31 like everything's got to be hustled and 06:33 everything's got to be going and 06:34 whatever and like i've i am very let me 06:36 restate this i am very fortunate and 06:38 that i have a gig that i don't have to 06:40 worry about doing a side hustle um i 06:43 could do side hustles and i could try 06:44 and make more and could do whatever 06:46 that's actually harder for me to do now 06:48 um based off basically the medications 06:50 that i'm on but 06:52 like i just i don't have to do it so i'm 06:54 not gonna do it like i'm just not 06:55 interested in it now 06:57 five years ago before i was uh had my 07:00 diagnosis of bipolar disorder and i was 07:02 unmedicated then i was side hustling all 07:04 over the place because that's a thing 07:05 that can kind of happen there but 07:08 looking at it now like that stuff was 07:10 also just exhausting like one of the one 07:11 of the things that's interesting me 07:13 about this 07:14 kind of um arc that i've been on or gone 07:16 through or the journey right and like uh 07:19 like i wish journey didn't have such a 07:22 weird connotation word like going on a 07:24 journey and it's like it sounds kind of 07:26 like hippie dippy but like it's accurate 07:28 but also it sounds kind of hippy-dippy 07:30 so let's just let's call it an arc like 07:31 we all have story arcs right um we are 07:33 we are the center of our own stories we 07:35 have this arc that is the arc of our 07:37 lives and there's the arc of the story 07:39 um 07:40 and there's like there's the main arc 07:41 which is like you know from birth to 07:43 death and then there's all these little 07:45 bitty arts like high school that's the 07:46 arc of high school and then the art of 07:49 your senior year the arc of 07:52 you know that one class that was really 07:54 a pain in 07:55 i don't know chemistry in high school or 07:57 something um 07:59 but for me it's really interesting or 08:01 one of the interesting things about the 08:02 thing about my run through this life 08:05 right 08:05 is 08:06 i i really feel like 08:10 and to some degree it's accurate 08:13 biologically that i've kind of had three 08:15 different brains 08:16 so 08:17 my initial brain which lasted for my 08:19 first 42 years was 08:22 um undiagnosed bipolar um 08:25 i was i was a happy like so lots of 08:27 folks um 08:29 have this kind of perception of like 08:31 bipolar disorder being like angry and 08:33 agitated and like all this stuff all the 08:34 time and i i was more that than i 08:37 realized but that was not the way that i 08:39 presented i was just really active and 08:42 energetic but i thankfully i was not 08:45 like 08:46 angry because there can be 08:48 like anger associated with that that 08:50 happens i was fortunate enough that 08:51 that's not what happened with me um the 08:54 and that's actually probably one of the 08:55 reasons that i went so long without 08:57 being diagnosed 08:59 um the 09:01 then after that like so i had i had a 09:03 massive um massive i had a major manic 09:06 episode ended me up in the hospital for 09:07 a while after that one of the things 09:09 that often happens after a major manic 09:12 episode 09:13 or full-blown manic episode with bipolar 09:14 disorder is a depressive episode like 09:17 major depressive episode and so 09:20 the crappy thing is like the manic 09:22 episode lasted 09:24 you know 09:25 it peaked for a couple weeks basically 09:27 the depressive episode lasted for like a 09:30 year or two or whatever um 09:33 but so i i went from having this just 09:37 like nuclear reactor of a brain 09:40 uh with terms of energy and excitement 09:43 in terms of all the other stuff to like 09:45 major depression which was 09:48 just 09:49 and it's i i really i don't 09:52 have the language to describe 09:55 depression 09:56 if you have not had if you've not had a 09:58 major depression i don't know how to 09:59 communicate to you what that is like 10:03 like the closest thing that i can think 10:05 of 10:07 is partially 10:09 if you've ever stayed up like way way 10:11 way too long i mean like 10:13 you know 10:14 all of one day 10:16 into the next 10:18 and kind of like that that the way that 10:20 it's hard to think 10:22 like that is as is a small aspect of it 10:25 like not being able to think not being 10:26 able to move but it's so much more than 10:28 that and it's so much more 10:30 or so much less than that actually i 10:32 guess would be the better way to say it 10:33 because there's just like you you can't 10:35 think like stuff just kind of 10:39 hurts and is miserable and like but it's 10:41 maybe not hurting i don't know it's like 10:43 and thankfully it's kind of like 10:45 i don't have tremendously good memories 10:46 of it which is 10:48 a blessing right so i'm not having to 10:50 like relive all that in my head which is 10:52 i'm very thankful for 10:54 but that was so that's kind of the 10:55 second brain and like i really that was 10:58 when i really realized because i always 11:00 thought 11:01 like hey we're talking to people and 11:03 like um especially with coding there's 11:05 this big thing about like oh anybody can 11:07 code 11:09 and i used to believe that 11:11 because 11:12 i could code and i had like 11:15 all this mannequin energy and like you 11:17 know i'm a relatively intelligent dude 11:19 right so 11:21 i i just it was hard for me to conceive 11:23 that people wouldn't be able to do that 11:27 then i hit this depression stuff and 11:30 the two realizations that i really had 11:31 with that were 11:34 one 11:35 and so i kind of also knew this this 11:37 first part before which is like some 11:39 people can't learn to code or can't 11:41 learn a thing or can't learn whatever 11:42 because they really aren't afforded the 11:44 opportunity to do it in terms of 11:46 time energy space like the ability so 11:48 like the a standard thing that you hear 11:50 people say right is like if you're 11:52 working three jobs 11:53 your mental energy that and your your 11:56 mental kind of um capacity 11:59 to try and learn a new thing is going to 12:02 be greatly diminished 12:04 regardless of who you are 12:06 some people 12:08 can still do that 12:09 i can tell you i would not be able to do 12:11 that like especially now like i i don't 12:13 i only have 12:16 i then this is one of the contrasts that 12:17 is that is super interesting to me is i 12:20 have such less mental capacity now and 12:22 mental energy that i really understand 12:26 in a way that i never did before because 12:28 i because i see i've i've been and i've 12:30 lived in these few different worlds 12:32 that oh wow this is really a very 12:34 different thing than i that i got and 12:36 like it's it's almost 12:38 it 12:39 i i still i i really do consider like 12:41 i've been three different people as part 12:43 of this like still all me but like manic 12:46 me depressed me and now stable me 12:48 all have different abilities to 12:52 think to concentrate to focus 12:55 and 12:56 the the impact that those abilities have 12:59 or those the calibration of those 13:01 abilities has 13:03 on my ability to do anything everything 13:05 and all the stuff 13:07 is 13:08 way more impactful than i would have 13:10 guessed because again it's still me 13:12 but like when i was in the depressive 13:14 state like when i was in a major 13:16 depression 13:17 i couldn't learn 13:18 and i mean that like 13:20 really literally i was unable to learn 13:23 new things 13:24 i would try and i could kind of hang on 13:27 to it for a little bit and this is a 13:28 problem because part of my job is 13:29 learning stuff 13:31 but 13:32 and by the way super grateful that i 13:34 have a really excellent boss really 13:36 excellent co-workers who helped me work 13:37 through all of this stuff like cannot 13:40 compliment them more or 13:42 owe them more i guess 13:44 but 13:45 like i would try and learn new stuff and 13:46 it just it would not stick and it was so 13:48 hard to concentrate and it was so hard 13:50 to focus on something like i would be 13:51 reading something 13:53 and i would be reading some 13:54 documentation about some process that we 13:56 were trying to do 13:57 and it would take me like i would read 13:58 it five times and i would have no idea 14:01 what i read 14:04 and then i would kind of click around 14:06 and maybe get some stuff and could kind 14:07 of go forward and like slowly but surely 14:10 i could maybe figure out something that 14:12 i needed to do or how to do it but like 14:14 by and large then it didn't stick so i'm 14:16 a huge fan of taking notes 14:19 the only way that i got through a bunch 14:20 of that stuff was by taking a whole 14:22 bunch of notes so that when i would go 14:25 have to try and interact with the same 14:27 piece of software the same whatever 14:28 again i had these notes to kind of get 14:30 into and mess around with um and and get 14:33 so like 14:34 i'm actually working on upgrading my 14:36 note stuff right now um i was going 14:37 through and like ran account of them i 14:39 have 7 14:40 800 or something notes 14:42 of 14:43 some other bigs and like that's also 14:45 posts for my blog um but it's personal 14:47 notes it's tech notes it's a it's just 14:49 my note thing i call it my grimoire by 14:51 the way which you will hear me talk 14:52 about in general grimoire is a book of 14:54 magic incidentally um that is what i 14:58 call my notes app like it is the book of 14:59 magic it's it's kind of my outboard 15:01 brain um which i think is a term that uh 15:03 corey doctorow doctorow i don't know how 15:05 to say their name um 15:08 uh 15:09 said and or like coined and though it's 15:12 funny because i actually saw somebody 15:13 talking about the term second brain 15:16 um 15:17 and they're pointing to somebody who 15:18 might have coined it in like 2018 but 15:20 i'm like i'm pretty sure that term has 15:21 been around longer than that but 15:22 whatever 15:23 like without those notes i would not 15:24 have been able to kind of do this stuff 15:26 um and so like that 15:29 that has kind of helped me get over it 15:31 or get through it not over it um like 15:33 getting over it you know sounds like oh 15:35 you've i'm getting i've moved past it or 15:37 whatever but like and i guess that is 15:38 kind of true 15:40 but like it wasn't an over like over 15:43 feels like you've kind of you you jumped 15:45 around the thing or you jumped over the 15:46 thing like you you weren't 15:48 just absolutely clobbered by 15:51 the the process of having to just slog 15:54 through it um 15:56 which is what the depression was like 15:57 like i i don't um and and so 16:00 quick content warning for um 16:02 for 16:03 super dark thoughts right is i actually 16:06 had to go in the hospital at one point 16:07 because i was at the point of depression 16:10 that was gonna be like the end of the 16:12 depression um 16:13 so i went in for suicidal ideation i had 16:16 to stay there for a while came back out 16:18 and did some um 16:20 a bunch of therapy and uh stuff and 16:22 whatever and part of it was i was still 16:25 healing up from the major depression i 16:26 was still my brain was still healing 16:27 basically because it takes a while for 16:28 your brain to heal after depression but 16:30 like 16:31 so i like 16:33 that was a big part of that too 16:35 again thankfully i don't have tremendous 16:37 memories about all that stuff but 16:39 it was absolutely 16:42 a 16:43 just 16:44 like 16:46 i like i i don't know how i made it 16:48 through really other than 16:51 support of friends family and therapists 16:54 um 16:55 and meds too on top of that right but 16:57 like i couldn't feel the meds as much it 16:58 was it was that external support um and 17:01 and and friends family coworkers and you 17:03 know employment basically too because 17:06 there's 17:06 [Applause] 17:07 if 17:08 if i had had 17:11 different if i had if i'd worked for a 17:13 different organization and i'd worked 17:14 under a different employer or a 17:15 different 17:16 boss there's a high likelihood i would 17:19 have been fired and with different 17:20 co-workers there was a high likelihood i 17:21 could have been fired or would have been 17:22 fired and like that would have been a 17:24 bad cascade like that was one of my big 17:27 triggers and fears with the depression 17:28 stuff was like 17:30 i can't think beyond this then this was 17:32 the cascade right so i couldn't think 17:35 like i couldn't learn i couldn't think 17:37 and like that is that that not only was 17:39 central to my job but that was central 17:41 to me that's like a thing that i do 17:43 so like that was gone 17:45 and 17:46 when that was gone i would then cascade 17:48 into i can't think i can't and i'm not 17:50 gonna be able to do my job if i can't do 17:51 my job i'm gonna um get fired if i get 17:53 fired i'm gonna lose my house if i lose 17:54 my house 17:55 who cares at that point whatever and 17:57 like it just cascade down and that's how 17:59 i ended up in the hospital because i 18:01 would just go through that loop over and 18:03 over and over again and couldn't get out 18:05 of it um 18:08 but thankfully um through 18:11 the 18:12 graces of all the things 18:14 uh that 18:15 that was not a thing that happened i'm 18:17 not i'm no longer worried about that 18:18 being a thing that happened even though 18:20 that can kind of still flash in my brain 18:21 every now and then which is really kind 18:22 of wild um 18:25 but 18:26 to get through to this point of now 18:29 having this third brain 18:31 and then being able to kind of 18:34 see 18:36 and remember and feel the way that each 18:39 aspect felt like 18:41 and recognizing that yeah you know what 18:44 not everybody can do coding 18:47 but like 18:48 some of that isn't but that's not 18:50 necessarily a mental thing it can be a 18:51 situational thing but also they can be a 18:54 mental thing right 18:55 however the thing that i do think is 18:57 cool and like just a flip it the other 18:59 direction is 19:01 almost everybody if given the 19:03 opportunity and given the 19:06 the space like the um 19:10 like given that given basically i guess 19:11 the physical space the mental space and 19:13 the time space to do it 19:15 can learn to code 19:17 like 19:18 it is it is tricky in lots of ways it is 19:21 hard in other ways 19:23 and sometimes it's really frustrating 19:25 but 19:26 it's a thing that is approachable and 19:28 doable and knowable and solvable 19:31 like 19:33 one of the cool things for me about the 19:34 code stuff is 19:37 anything that anybody has ever written 19:40 on a regular computer 19:42 i can also write 19:45 technically like i can make the computer 19:47 do the same thing because at the base 19:50 level at the uh at the lowest level of 19:52 this 19:53 there's there's this math down there 19:55 that ends up being just a bunch of zeros 19:58 and a bunch of ones mushed together so 20:00 like as long as you can make those same 20:02 zeros and ones show up you can make the 20:04 computer do exactly the same thing and 20:06 to me that's just and like i'm not 20:09 i'll i'll get more into that over time 20:11 but just as the as the highlight it's 20:14 anything that can be done on a computer 20:19 you can also make the computer do the 20:21 thing like 20:23 and 20:23 could take a stack of work and years to 20:25 do it but 20:27 it's all it's like because of the way 20:29 that it's ma just the math that's under 20:31 the underneath there and those ones and 20:32 zeros like it's addressable it's a it's 20:35 doable um and for me that's just that's 20:38 super cool so i i really 20:41 i have more 20:45 something i have more i'm not going to 20:47 say respect because that's not the right 20:49 word but i have more 20:50 empathy 20:52 for 20:54 the for folks who are on the other side 20:57 of trying to learn stuff 20:58 and 21:00 uh and people who are out there who know 21:02 it are basically telling them oh this is 21:04 easy 21:05 just do this 21:06 like 21:08 that's not helpful like we collectively 21:10 who know what we're doing need to stop 21:12 with those words 21:14 because 21:17 if you don't know like 21:18 often times things are easy if you know 21:20 how to do them right um sometimes 21:22 they're hard even if you know how to do 21:23 them but if you don't know how to do 21:25 them and you're trying to spin mental 21:27 energy and like the 21:29 little bits of time and effort and 21:30 energy that you have to do it like 21:33 it can be harder just because you're 21:36 exhausted 21:38 like that makes things harder and also 21:40 this term just like hey just do this 21:43 just do that it makes it sound so simple 21:45 it makes it sound like oh this is the 21:47 thing it's like oh just take the top off 21:49 of this thing well i you know i don't 21:52 have pliers and it's actually on there 21:54 very hard so i can't just do it right um 21:56 there's 21:58 there's all these 22:00 implications and just that 22:03 that 22:03 and i'm i'm as guilty of this as anybody 22:05 that did not realize 22:08 that 22:09 there's on the other side of that on the 22:11 impact of that the the implication is or 22:13 the like the self 22:15 um 22:16 the self reflective implication is 22:18 basically like they're saying just do 22:20 this like it should be simple i can't do 22:22 i don't understand what's happening 22:24 so clearly i am not good enough to do 22:26 this or i'm bad at this or i am a 22:28 failure um and that's another one that 22:30 we'll we'll talk about a bunch is the 22:32 there's a difference between 22:34 doing a thing that fails and being a 22:35 failure yourself and kind of where that 22:38 line is and by and large it's basically 22:40 no you're not a failure something just 22:42 failed you happen to do it that's fine 22:44 we can work on it and move on but you 22:46 are not a failure but having those but 22:48 we don't really teach that and so having 22:51 that 22:52 just mentality of like just do this just 22:54 do that just do that 22:55 is really i think just super detrimental 22:58 to actually 22:59 helping people figure out how to do the 23:01 thing 23:02 so uh i really didn't know where that 23:04 was gonna go there you go um all right 23:06 uh i tell you what we'll uh we'll we'll 23:08 call that one here i need to i need to 23:09 figure out a better exit strategy for 23:11 these um 23:13 but like i don't know how to like wind 23:14 down from that like clearly we'll do the 23:15 after show etc um but also that felt 23:18 very abrupt sorry about that i don't 23:20 like that just like was one of those 23:22 i mean guess one of the tricks with this 23:24 is 23:25 i like if i was writing this 23:28 i could go i could go back and edit i 23:30 could figure out how to like land it and 23:31 like get it like you know hey so we 23:33 rather pull these words around and blah 23:35 blah blah blah blah blah move them 23:36 around and i should have said et cetera 23:37 et cetera um 23:39 i'm gonna move stuff around and like 23:40 we'll actually land it nicely and kind 23:42 of like have it you know have a good 23:44 exit for the thing and then ta-da we're 23:46 done 23:48 with the 23:49 freeform streaming consciousness stuff 23:50 that's a lot harder to do it'll be 23:53 interesting to see if over time i get 23:54 better at that 23:56 i know that i am better at it now than i 23:58 used to be 23:59 because i've been doing these for a 24:00 couple years but haven't actually 24:01 published them right 24:02 so i'm better at it now than i used to 24:04 be but they're still like it's still 24:05 hard like how do you land these things 24:07 um 24:08 but we'll figure it out so 24:10 that'll do it for now uh you all have a 24:11 good one um take it easy as always be 24:14 kind and we'll see you next time cheers