Aftershow for S1:E6 - The Pod Of Alan

December - 2021
You can listen here or on Amazon, Apple, Audible, Google, Overcast, Spotify, or pretty much any other podcast app. (Please let me know if you find an app that doesn't have the show.) If you need the raw feed, it's here.

Topics Include

  • You're in or you're out
  • The Work In Public and The Work In Progress
  • We should review the old ideas
  • Doing creative work without fear of being eaten by a bear
  • Decisive language and commitment

Kind of an abrupt end to this one. I'll talk about about using "interesting" as a way to dampen fear again soon.


Transcript

NOTE: This is an auto-generated transcript. Sometimes the computer gets it wrong. Let me know if you see anything that's out of whack

00;00;04;21 - 00;00;15;04

All right. Alright, alright, alright, so I feel like for the aftershow, I should start it with a drink like started, although drink water, I'm just like, Hey, I'm rehydrating. It takes a little bit out of me to do that.

00;00;15;14 - 00;00;28;24

Also, it's hotter than normal in here. I have the windows open. It's in November, but it's still like 75 in the house right now. I'm not quite sweating, but like I'm right on the cusp of sweating. If I sit very still, I won't sweat.

00;00;30;03 - 00;00;42;12

I hadn't really thought through the performance in public and then doing the roll back into. I mean, I just talked about this for however long, but like I'm still processing through it, right? This is part of the show.

00;00;43;10 - 00;01;00;12

I see I keep doing that. This is the aftershow I think of episode six. Like at this point, you're in or you're out. We have crossed the threshold of needing to do more explanation about how this is going to work or how it works.

00;01;01;10 - 00;01;12;12

It it's funny too, because the forecasts I wrestled with at a bunch and I would keep doing it. And also I kept I. There were several times when it was like, I've done a whole bunch of them, but I don't want to have to edit those who like, I'm just going to start now and like, This will

00;01;12;12 - 00;01;29;17

be the one I started. I'm going to post this. I probably did that four times and want to go back and look at it. It's probably been eight. Now that my brain is recognizing that this stuff is actually going out and like it's in the world, I can actually feel the relief from the need to do that

00;01;29;17 - 00;01;41;22

type of stuff as much of that type of caveat, but that type of, I don't know, backing off explanation. Caveats, probably the right word, but like there's another word, I just can't find it in my head right now.

00;01;43;01 - 00;01;58;11

It's really cool to have that idea of the work in public and the work in progress, oh, the work in public and the work in progress, that's pretty good. I will likely be doing conference talks at some point because I think I'm going to have enough material that I can probably call some stuff together and we'll make

00;01;58;11 - 00;02;12;14

a thing. I've had notes that I've wanted to do for years on the stuff, some of it was back in the mania days where have less than less than list of stuff to talk about. I want to go back through those and see that I was watching a tick tock today where somebody was explaining the difference between

00;02;12;14 - 00;02;25;09

ADHD, borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder. And one of the things that they were talking about was with bipolar disorder. You have mainly a depressive thing, but then there are also times validated mood and the mania or hypomania.

00;02;26;00 - 00;02;40;06

For me, most of the time I had the hypomania. Most of my life I was hypomanic with periods of dullness that weren't awful. But then I went all the way up with the full meaning and then all the way down with the depression.

00;02;41;11 - 00;02;52;12

But then he said in the main period, you have great ideas and he was like doing the air, screwed things around it, and I was like, You know what? So my ideas were good. Some of them were kind of all over the place.

00;02;53;07 - 00;03;04;00

I actually have recordings of basically my entire manic episode. We're going to go back and look at those at some point and we're actually going to we're actually going to put a critical eye to some of these ideas and see what we think.

00;03;04;15 - 00;03;13;07

There's a whole bunch of stuff about education. There's a whole bunch of stuff about using the internet better for education and how we can actually work through that. There's also some about how it's going to have to be president in order to make this happen.

00;03;13;07 - 00;03;23;22

But that's that's not really I'm not really worried about that right now or, you know, ever. This is going to be cool, like I really I think this is a war. I think this is a worthy idea of.

00;03;24;19 - 00;03;38;21

Now you have that performance above, because I just I feel like there's some people out there and by some people, I mean a lot of people who we have this potential to do stuff and we're just so afraid of.

00;03;39;23 - 00;03;56;06

Getting eaten by a bear. Or we get the feeling like we're going to be eaten by a bear, and that's but that feeling is associated with doing something and looking foolish. one of the things that I'm working on is trying to figure out and trying to discover what are ways that we can short circuit around that so

00;03;56;06 - 00;04;17;09

that we can actually go do stuff that we're interested in trying to do. But with some amount of like mental protection and mental armor so that we can do it without that, it's terrifying to the point of paralysis if we can basically find some ways and like these are just tools in the toolkit and not just I'm

00;04;17;09 - 00;04;26;14

trying to use that word as much, but these are potential tools in the toolkit that some will work for some people, some or for other people. Some will need to find their own tools and do their own things.

00;04;27;11 - 00;04;37;11

I think we can open it up for more people to do more. And like, who knows, maybe this is just like whatever it's maybe like now, no screw that like this is like, this is the thing that we can do.

00;04;37;19 - 00;04;51;08

I was going like kind of caveat in back off of that or whatever, but like, no, this is a thing we can do. I know there are people out there that are interested in doing creative work, but getting started and getting going and getting past some of that feeling of you're going to buy a beer.

00;04;51;17 - 00;04;59;27

That's one of the many things that can get in front of people. A slew of other stuff, but that's one of them. So like, let's see what we can do about that. So I think that's probably going to be what some of this is about.

00;04;59;27 - 00;05;15;11

Do it not. I think I was like, That's going to be with some of this is about. And that's that's another one for me, by the way. This is something I'm working on, is trying to be more. Decisive in my language and in my statements about things like this is what I'm trying to do, which, by the

00;05;15;11 - 00;05;30;10

way, is actually a scary statement. I'm not talking like that statement in general is scary or whatever, because like, yes, that's true. But also like for me right now in this moment, saying this is what I'm trying to do is a scary thing, because that's commitment.

00;05;30;24 - 00;05;41;07

We're not well know it's commitment. It's not. Mhm. I don't know what the right way to describe that. It led to me saying a thing that's like drawing a line in the sand. But that's not good either, right?

00;05;41;07 - 00;05;55;02

There's not that's not my life's work. But it is a thing that I am trying to do. I am making a statement that this is the thing that I'm trying to do and that is the thing. I don't really know how to describe the feeling behind that other than like, it's scary.

00;05;56;07 - 00;06;14;12

I guess what it is is the way that I'm kind of visualizing this is we kind of have this barrier around us, between ourselves, in the world. We can stay inside that barrier by not defining absolutes that we are of a thing or doing a thing.

00;06;15;16 - 00;06;29;11

Saying, like, I am going to do a thing, pokes through that barrier from the inside to the outside, like it's a movement that I am making. That leaves a hole in the barrier and it's a hole that people can fire through and hit me with.

00;06;29;27 - 00;06;44;29

Because now from this point forward, people can attack me on that. Because, right, you aren't doing the thing you said you did or you like, and also you're not doing a good job of it or like, there's all these ways about it in my head right now that that opens me.

00;06;45;20 - 00;07;03;10

And really, what it opens me to is criticism, I guess. But it feels like I might be eaten by a bear like I have the fight or flight thing going when I'm saying that. And that's really interesting. one of the things that I have going for me that I hope to pass on to other folks is when

00;07;03;10 - 00;07;17;29

I feel those feelings. one of the first things I'd try and do is like, take a step back from it and look at and say, That's interesting. Terrifying. Sure. But also, huh. Interesting. That's where my head's at right now, so I'm going to run off this one.

00;07;18;13 - 00;07;23;12

As always, you'll be cool, be kind, and we will see you next time. Cheers.