Aftershow for S1:E9 - The Pod Of Alan

December - 2021
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Topics Include

  • Cutting the likes
  • Like and Loath vs Love and Hate
  • Self-discovery through podcasting
  • Compounding guilt about not doing a thing
  • Stop saying "stop feeling guilty"
  • Available mental models
  • Looking for language

Transcript

NOTE: This is an an auto-generated transcript. Sometimes the computer gets it wrong. Let me know if you see something weird.

00;00;05;27 - 00;00;18;23

After show, after show after show, I ever know where these things are terribly going to go, I will continue to say that a lot because I don't know where they're going to head. And it's a lot of fun for me that I don't actually know that.

00;00;19;21 - 00;00;29;22

I kind of have these ideas right of where it might go and where it starts, like I get I get a thing to start with and then I just run and then we'll see what happens. I'm working on not saying as much.

00;00;30;12 - 00;00;40;20

The other one that I need to pay attention to or I'm starting to pay more attention to is the word like. Like this, like that, like I just use the word like a lot. I use it more than I would like to do that.

00;00;40;20 - 00;00;57;07

That's an OK one because I'm using the form differently there, I guess. But like when I use it as a like right there, when I use it as a placeholder word, I'm trying to diminish that. And the thing that's funny for me about this is some number of people out there would not have picked up on the

00;00;57;07 - 00;01;07;21

fact that I'm doing it until, like I just pointed it out, um, is one that is kind of a standard one that you kind of know about. But like, I don't know why you did it right there. But I don't know if.

00;01;08;26 - 00;01;22;03

Lake is one of those things that you would have heard too much. Dear listener, unless I pointed it out, so apologies if now you're going, Oh God is, he says, like all the time. I don't expect that to happen, but somebody will do that.

00;01;22;20 - 00;01;39;13

I will still go with the idea that no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter what period, there will be at least one person in the world who digs the thing you're into and at least one person in the world who does not dig the thing that pitcher into one person that likes it

00;01;39;13 - 00;01;51;10

and one person that loathe it and will use this, actually, oh, that's good language right there. The difference between like and loathe versus love and hate. Because, yeah, I really like that. You never know what he's going to go.

00;01;51;16 - 00;02;05;02

Yeah, I'm really so I'm stuck on the like in love versus loathe and hate thing, like, I'm definitely you to write that down. I've got a collection of words and phrases that are a series of instead of this, try this or like, think consider this as an option.

00;02;05;06 - 00;02;21;20

It's basically paying attention to language, and that's one that I hadn't hit on before that I really like. We'll put that in the mix. This has been fun, and I like the creative stuff like it's really interesting to me that I continue to discover things about myself while doing these.

00;02;22;21 - 00;02;41;20

Some of that in there about the creative stuff and the like, the difference in the headspace and the resistance, and there are not really and especially not really realizing that. When I'm in the creative headspace, having the thought of the overall project, which involves the less creative parts of the editing because editing still doesn't feel creative to

00;02;41;20 - 00;02;52;03

me, I think it is going to feel creative to me after I get more used to it. And so I think there's another aspect of this, which is the aspect of I just haven't done that much of it, so I'm uncomfortable doing it.

00;02;52;11 - 00;03;08;01

It's not yet muscle memory or whatever. I still have to take notes. I still have to look at it. I still have to do it. If I reframe it in that creative work, that helps a lot, but when I'm in the headspace of like actually recording one because I almost I almost didn't record and I almost didn't

00;03;08;01 - 00;03;20;20

edit because those two things were colliding in my head. I kind of blocked up. It's kind of the worst of both worlds where. And this is the thing that I know that I've run into a bunch of, I know lots of people run into this in general.

00;03;21;04 - 00;03;35;21

I feel guilty about not doing a thing. And then because of that, I don't do something else. But at that point, I'm not doing anything. And it's like, if I'm going to, if I'm going to not do the one thing, even if I'm feeling guilty about it, like, go do the other thing.

00;03;36;14 - 00;03;47;28

Easier said than done it. But like, I'm trying to get into the practice of that to be like, OK, compartmentalize. I am not going to edit right now. I am going to go do a recording, even though I feel like I should be editing right now.

00;03;48;11 - 00;04;02;10

That's not where the energy is. So I'm going to go do this and I'm not going to feel guilty about the edit or I'm going to. Hmm. That's another one, right? So like saying, I'm not going to feel guilty about something like that's kind of an invalid sentence.

00;04;03;19 - 00;04;17;23

I am going to recognize that I'm going to feel guilty about a thing and I'm going to be OK with the thing that I'm feeling guilty about like that is just going to be a thing that happens because I can't control whether or not I feel guilty about a thing that is a part of my brain that

00;04;17;23 - 00;04;27;20

I am not in control of. I'm either going to feel guilty about a thing or I'm not. I do not have executive function over executive decision making over that to say, No, I'm not going to feel guilty about this right now.

00;04;27;25 - 00;04;38;07

I'm going to try and like every now and then, maybe a little bit if you can reframe it. But like some of that stuff, no. But having the decision to be like, OK, I am going to be OK with the fact that I'm feeling guilty about that.

00;04;38;07 - 00;04;52;00

That is the thing I can do. Getting that one level removed from the feeling, I guess intellectualizing the feeling or like recognizing the feeling and sitting with the feeling and being in the feeling, but then also like moving one step away from it and being like, Yeah, that's a thing.

00;04;52;10 - 00;05;05;19

It's happening. That's just going to happen. I'm not going to get wound up in the middle of it and stuck in it and not be able to function because of it. That is a thing that I've tried to practice a bunch and it takes a lot of practice to do.

00;05;06;20 - 00;05;23;24

What like? That's a worthy thing to add to your skill set is being able to at least have the possibility of doing that to know that that is a thing that is at least possible even if you don't pull it off most of the time knowing it's a possibility.

00;05;23;24 - 00;05;35;27

And I think that's one of the tricks with a bunch of stuff in our society. I don't think most of us know what the possible options are for lots of things that would give us better lives. And so that'll be some of what we talk about here.

00;05;36;06 - 00;05;45;27

I guess I don't know this, I see I'm doing the weird thing like this is I'm still I'm still getting used to that idea of like, look, I have like, I'm going to say things like, these are the way that I see the world kind of things.

00;05;45;27 - 00;06;03;22

And a buddy on the main discord that I'm on was talking with me about that and basically saying, like, Look, you're saying things with how you see them? That's OK. And like, that's good. And like, That's it still freaks me out a little bit to do that because I feel like I'm being prescriptive in a way that

00;06;03;22 - 00;06;14;14

I'm not an expert to be prescriptive of. Because I don't really feel like I'm an expert in anything, I can do a bunch of stuff with code, for example, and I can bang around and make things happen on computers.

00;06;14;22 - 00;06;26;09

But even that I don't consider myself an expert in, but like talking about like mental models and all the other things. I'm not saying it is prescription, I'm saying it as this is a thing that I've run into, but then we get into the societal level stuff.

00;06;27;03 - 00;06;43;13

Having watched things in general, one of the things that I see is that we collectively are not always given pieces of information that would make our lives better. And some of it is things like mental models. Some of our language is like, Oh, don't feel guilty.

00;06;43;13 - 00;06;57;13

And that's a really good one for me. A really good example for me. Like, don't feel guilty. And then all of a sudden, like, I do feel guilty and then it's like, Oh, now I feel guilty because I'm feeling guilty and you've told me not to, which makes it seem like I should be able to just stop

00;06;57;13 - 00;07;10;22

that. Now I've got two levels of guilt sitting on top of me. That's not good. But if we reframe that again, if we look at the language and play with it to the point of saying, like in like, I don't even know what the right phrase would be.

00;07;11;22 - 00;07;27;10

Try not to feel guilty is better, but still not there. Let the guilt have a little impact over you as possible isn't a good sentence, even though that's kind of the goal or recognize the guilt, but and also be OK with the guilt, right?

00;07;27;10 - 00;07;41;18

Because that's also weird. Like, I don't know the languages for there. We should work on that and try and figure out like, what a good thing would be for that type of thing. If you've got stuff that you want to be doing or that you.

00;07;43;11 - 00;07;57;26

And I will say again, need a like, but if I want to be editing a podcast and it's a thing that I do because I want to get this thing out, I am going on recording anyways. Like recognizing that there is a guilt feeling with there, and by the way, this is super minor, right, super guilt, like

00;07;57;26 - 00;08;15;07

I'm just that's the example that's in my head right now. Extrapolate to wherever. Having that language to be like, OK, like, what do you say, yes, so here's the question to the theme What do you say? And also where team, I guess what do you say to the group, to the people, to the audience, to the listeners

00;08;15;07 - 00;08;31;05

, to the folks? What do you say to somebody that is a replacement for don't feel guilty? I don't know, I would have to think about that. That is one that I do not know the answer to. We will play with that language and try and figure something out.

00;08;31;21 - 00;08;41;15

That is for another time, though we will cut this one here. You all have a good time. Good time. Good day. Good, whatever. Good. Be good and cool and kind and all that jazz and we will see you soon.

00;08;42;11 - 00;08;42;19

Cheers.