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January 2026

Dave Rupert Says STOP Blogging!

Your Clickbait Headline of the Day - Brought to You by Slurm
A fake ad banner for the drink Slurm from Futurama. There's a cartoon can on the left and a Slurm logo on the right. Text in the middles says - It's Highly Addictive.

Say It Ain't So!

On December 30, 2025, Dave Rupert, a former champion of both blogs and blogging, made an incredible pivot. The once proponent of writing told the world, in no uncertain terms, to stop. Posting these three words that will go down in internet history:

Everyone stop blogging.

Don't believe us? Here's the shocking screen grab. Straight from the horse's mouth:

A cropped sceenshot from a Mastodon post showing Dave's thumbnail, name, and handle above the words: Everyone stop blogging.
Another copy of the Slurm ad banner.

The Slurm Snapshot Summary

The world stands stunned.

Dave's declaration signals the end of an era. Closing the book on a core pillar of independent websites.

What goes unsaid is the rest of what must surely be Dave's message:

There is no point in having your own website.

While we can't "technically" attribute that quote to Dave, we're guessing that's probably what's in his head.

A cartoon add for Slurm showing the Futurama character Slurm MacKenzie wearing sunglasses and an open Hawaiian shirt with a can of Slurm in his hands. (Slurm MacKenzei is basically a green slug with a big grin.) There's an Enjoy Slurm logo in the upper left.

Don't Even Think About It

The interpretation is clear:

Having a place to riff, experiment, and maintain your work is a fool's errand. Building an audience should only be done on social networks. Control should be an illusion. Not something you actually have.

The only possible conclusion:

Your content is only valuable if it fits into a template on a timeline.

And, by valuable, we mean that's the only way multi-national corporate conglomerates can monetize it.

But, don't count yourself out. Some will give you a percentage of the profit. Generally it's measured in pennies. Sometimes, you can make whole dollars if you're lucky enough to go viral.

A white ad banner with black, block text on it that says Obey in call caps on the left and Consume on the right.

The Mandatory Monetization Motive

Speaking of money, what else is there?

Sure, blogs can be used to support a business. A place to connect with your customers, your fans, your supporters. For-profit companies would like for that possibility to go away, but we have to admit it exists.

But, some folks make blogs free from the pressure of market forces. "A labor of love". Whatever that means.

We must ask: what's the Return On Investment if you make things solely for the pleasure of making them? Putting more words in Dave's mouth:

Value only exists in things that can be bought and sold. Get fucked if you think otherwise.

Who are we to argue with what we're totally making up about what Dave thinks.

Another copy of the Slurm ad banner.

The Slurm Markov Chain Meditation

[Editor's Note: This section was generated by the shitty AI tool we've been forced to integration into every story because it makes pages longer which means space for another ad. In this case, the Markov Chain went off the rails. That doesn't really affect the value of the content.

Fair warning: Don't waste time trying to figure out the point. There isn't one. It's all just a random nonsense of jumbled words that look like they should make sense but don't.]

The child almost caused a hole in the tan shirt. Sunday is the scared the booth sold fifty bonds. Many hands help to make a nail. Add the high for a band of a flood. The wall clock.

Another copy of the Slurm ad banner.

The ship was set on Main Street. Birth and full of soldiers past the park in a mouldy smell. Lift the form of paper. The farmer swapped his tired grease off his name. Many ways to make pure ice, you say nothing. Our plans right hand side.

Another copy of the Slurm ad banner.

A wisp of the fence. Paste can cause despair. The sand drifts over the two when you may scare your sharp reef. Let it unfit to replace the part of leaves and put his right hand side. The soft cushion is a good gain.

Another copy of the Slurm ad banner.

See Social With Slurm

The final though that's definitely not biased by the cash infusion we got from Slurm (who, btw, is announcing their brand new social network Slurm Social next week at the Social Media Fucks The World Conference):

Stop creating outside the bounds of corporate control.

We're not saying you're making the world a worse place if you make a blog. But, yeah, we're saying that.

Clearly, Dave agrees.

Slurm is a fully own subsidiary of Hypnotoad limited. Our lawyers make is tell you it's highly addictive. We're not sure about that. We'll give you the first one free so you can do your own research.

Our finely tuned algorithms will offer the same effect on Slurm Social. But, don't worry, you won't notice it until the enshittification commences in earnest.

The hypnotoad character from the animated series Futurama. It's wearing a collar with small blue nametags on it. Its eyes are pretty big with a trippy look like it's trying to hypnotize you.

A Correction

alanwsmith.com has learned the original screen grab was cropped in a way that might have been misleading. Maybe.

Here's the un-cropped version:

an expanded version of the above screen shot that includes the date and shows the full text from the post which is - Everyone stop blogging. I'm behind.

So yeah, Dave was making a joke that our Clickbait Generation Team edited and took completely out of context.

We, the members of the Clickbait Generation Team, can see how this might change the perspective a bit.

We regret any confusion this may have caused. But, you should still avoid making your own site and use social media (like Slurm Social!) instead.

Editor's Note

You know what? Fuck this.

This piece was bad enough. We've got the correction in now, but our sales and advertising departments won't let us change the headline because the post is getting views.

Corporate says the whole "editorial integrity" thing doesn't jive with the bottom line.

They can suck it. We quit.

We're heading out to make our own sites and blogs. Like these, for example.

We encouge you to do the same.

end of line